to hold my hand when we cross the road

to hold my hand when its freezing cold

to hold my hand when i am afraid and i need that reassuring touch

to hold my hand just when i like it

to lie down in the sand and watch the world go by

to stare up at the starry night over beer

to sit on the rocks and watch the waves

to swim in the sea and not be afraid of anything

to sit under a tent and eat marshies

to enjoy chocolate cake together

to have ice cream and have it all over your face too

to walk together

to run together

to crawl together XD

and to simply be together

to talk to someone when need be

to tell someone my plans

my dreams, wishes and everything else

to fight with someone

to rant and rave when need be

to just turn around and be assured you be there

to catch my smile, my words

my love

when, not having that special partner by your side,

no number of credentials or achievements mean a thing

i don stop living

but if you came along,

it may give me even more incentive

to live.

when will i join dupree’s world?

i have not updated a proper long entry in days. all i have done, is log in, sit down, prepared to update, become lazy, update some “blu-moolah” [half hearted] entry and then ciao.

sorry people. since school ended, i been so lazy with nothing to do that all i have been doing is just laze around, watch tv, sleep or eat apples and going out.

its kinda fun at first.but now, its just getting to me. so let’s just do a proper update.

alot of things have been going on. firstly, i have to touch on the escaped terrorist thing that has been the big hoo ha for the past few days. what puzzles me is the fact that this dude managed to escape from a highly secured, possibly one of the most secured prisons in singapore and has been on the loose for the past nine days. what puzzles me even more is the lack of information when he excaped at 4 but news of this escape only got to the minister himself at 8. what puzzles me even more is the lack of information on the first day itself but only subsequently released.

like wtf?

never before have i seen such a hiccup in singapore. and what does that say of us? despite the fact that many of us are still not concerned, given that its singapore and all, but still this does not make us look any good especially with us being the new host of the youth olympics.

all i hope is the dude is found early. and people, let’s do our part ok?

keep a look-out.

moving on, had a fantabulous day yesterday at ecp.with all of the bbq-in and partying. could not have asked for a sweeter saturday than to be with the lovelies, lepaking at ecp.

what’s better? shopping with the mum before that when she spurlged on me! thank you mummy darling.

all, i hope is i get that job i want, to last me till i get my results which i hopefully clear my semester, then that job to last me till my graduation party, then finally a job which i can be happy in till i get to pursue my university education.

lord, be with me?

and i hope i find my dupree soon.

2ND DAY OF path of freedom.

and i am so enjoying it. but though its obvious, that this shit is not going to last long for me.

holidays are good but they can be so boring with nothing much to do. so i have to keep myself busy and busy,busy and busy. and fcuk.with the kind of household i live in, its no wonder i just wanna keep myself busy,busy,and busy busy.

went to watch ps i lOve you with my lovely lurvlies right after our last paper. betweeen, wanting to sit our assess down at seoul garden and gorging ourselves or ps i love you, it was the latter.and boy am i glad.

or else, i would have never ever discovered how hot irish guys can be though those fellows are american in real life. damn. gerald butler is hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i totally dig him

but point to note: never watch a movie with farah.she cries.

never watch a romance movie with rika.or you be laughing your ass off despite having seen a guy die, his wife crying and in depression, seeing one guy’s love go to pieces and wondering how the hell one man can bed his best friend’s wife.

ha.

but it was lovely.a wonderful respite from the oh-so-mechanical life i had for three years.

i feel like running in the rain.and making puddles.

i waited for exactly three years for this phase to end. only i know how many countless times i have complained over the fact that i want to leave school for some reason.and when that day arrived yesterday,i was pretty stoned.

i realize i will always miss NYP. a part of me will definitely miss my poly days. wella, even though i miss it so much, i do not wish to repeat any of my modules because it was not any fun.so i hope i do well and clear the semester. but i know, if i ever miss that place, i will just go back, for the fun of it.

EXAMS ARE OVERR!!!!!!!!!!!

yes.yes.yes.and now i can sleep all i want,eat all i want,do whatever shit i want. i do not have to touch my fcuked up notes again, keep recapping important notes, no more endless hanging over the laptop to do work or read my notes. do any tutorials or worry about missing classes especially lectures.

man i love the freedom!!!!

all i have all the time to do whatever i wanted. and yes, though i am not applying now, i will in the future. for now, i wanna pursue all my interests while working.

time to get those braces,pursue my interests, hang out with my lurvlies and shop till i can faint.

ha!

more updates coming soon. for now, me got some researching to do!

ha!:P

projects have ended. the last day of school has also ended.now, only study break and exams left.and i still have not had the urge to revise.

fuckfuckfuck.

ok.i gotta get my groove on.final lap.let’s do it.

jia you .

lala.

ok.i should get started.but a spot of tv n chicken essence to get rid of my cramps first.

i promise i be better.

and more motivated.

not applying anymore.

don ask why.

The Biggest COMPLAINT I got about businesses, especially those that depend a lot on referrals and recommendations. When something does not go according to how they wish it to, they just get all jumpy, angry, accusing, call-us-names and whatever shit you call it. The best part – THEY COULD BE LIKE WAY OLDER THAN US. Where is the maturity, people?  I have a certain company that I recently came across. They clearly exhibited all of the symptoms above and the best part- they were way older than me. At least a good ten years.  I do not wish to name the company for saving it further embarrassment and plus, the last thing I want is a lawsuit slapped in my face now. I just do not have the financials or energy to handle this kind of shit now.

But I have to let out on how I feel about this company. For they have pushed the limit. And yes, if they continue, that fucking company can be assured that their name and full details will be released in the forum. This time, nothing is barred for since they feel that there are some evil sources out there to tarnish their name, I shall behave the exact same manner since they just accuse without proof. *****is this particular company.

They had supposedly wanted to hold a survey with me to record my perceptions of their new venture. So, as my friend was the one who asked me, I decided to do her a favor and just go along with it. So, came this “wonderful” lady. Initially, what happened to be pleasant and customary greetings between another friend of mine and her soon turned hostile. With that woman, just demanding she wanted to speak to my friend now. As in now. Being in a rush, my friend politely declined. And the lady started her tirade then. “No. I want to talk now. Want to know why you think my company is bad.”  [all of this shit happening in a LJS outlet where there were other people.]And so continued the tirade. My friend was not given an opportunity to explain herself.  

• I understand if my friend has been spreading bad and unwanted attention/publicity about your company and you wish to find out why. But DO NOT DEMAND THE FUCKING DETAILS. Ask politely.
• Important point to note: PLEASE ASK if my friend has heard of your company or your venture first. Do not assume she is the one who dislikes your company. ASSUMPTIONS are the mother of all fuck ups.
• Do not just jump on the girl without giving an opportunity for her to speak. You trying to cower her are not working. She was pissed. So were all of us. And for me, a potential respondent, my fucking impression of you is not positive from the start. And you brought it upon yourself.
• Do not pressure any of us into fucking signing up with your company
• Do not mess up your presentation. Make sure you know your facts. Do not fumble. Do not falter. Do not stop halfway and search in your bag for guidelines and do not just come without your guidelines too.
• Do not go “ oh. My mind is so sanguine. Could you take over” . what type of impression are you giving especially of a company that is established globally and has been in Singapore for five long years?
• Never ever use money as a motivating factor to get someone to sign up with you.
• Do not assume all loves or needs or wants money like you. Did you even find out if I am like super dirt rich or whatsoever? Why will  I need money then? Did you find out if I like this shit? Why do you assume, me, being a student, would fall for the money factor?
• And when I said I am not interested, get the hint and do not talk about me behind my back or in front of me in another language. Damn rude can.
• Do not ask me to come back in five years time, to tell you I do not love money. Once said, it remains. I do not love money despite me being poor.
• And if you cannot smile sincerely, then do not smile. Fakeness does not work, especially in a industry where sincerity goes a long way
• DO NOT FUCKING BACKSTAB by badmouthing or dissuading a person by giving some shit about how friends cannot be trusted and all that crap. Who said anything about trusting you???! And why would one ditch their friends of 3 years for a person one barely knows about 4 months?!
• More importantly: stick to your AGENDA. You only said doing a survey. Not getting me to sign up.

  If you have come across someone or some company that is harassing you or has harassed you in the same manner, take a hint. Either write in to the forum or blog about it. The last thing we need is another poor soul being tortured out there.    

One more thing. Should you [*****] come across this and read it, get a HINT. HARASS US  ONE MORE TIME ESPECIALLY MY FRIEND. and you be fucking sorry. You just get all of the publicity you need in the papers.

just who is a true friend?

and, when can one’s friendship with another can be defined as true?

is there even such a term as true friendship?

my mother always told me, there is no such thing as a true friend. However, I have always been adamant, believing that true friendship does exist. Though, I have had friends who I believe to be my true friends, hurt or betray or backstab me, I still believe in my notion, that true friendship  exists.

I am not gullible or stupid. I have experienced it. When I found out about a certain betrayal, a certain hurt. People I least thought would be there for me have comforted me. And this is beautiful. This is friendship. I cannot blame squarely on the fact that there is no true friendship when I have been a bad judge of character.

Call me naive or gullible. I believe in true friendship for I have one or two around me who are just that. I do not need a clubroom full of friends. I just need one or two who will be there for me. I am happy.

So, how come I have seen your friendship for them faltering? I know I am a bad judge of character at times.

But I believe truly in what I see. And what I see is not what I thought of you. [ If you feel friendship should not have expectations, then kindly re-think about that statement. For I see too much expectations from you on how you expect your friends to be.]

Not since I have known you for some time now. I do not know if you realize this, but if you really believe in friendship and believe that all should be well, you should not and will not be behaving so nonchantantly about all issues. For you are not only affecting yourself but them too. Do they deserve to see their work being affected because of you?You are a smart and bright girl, one who is hardworking and always-on top of your game.

That is not what I see now. And I am saying this from an external point of view. If this is so blatantly visible to me, can you imagine how much these girls have been taking in and been yet, so tolerant? AND quiet? And nice enough to actually let you do what you want to do and yet not mark you down.You do not have to be all hoo-ha and hail them for the amount of giving-in they are doing. Just show abit more commitment.

Come on girl, think about it. who has been there for you all this while? are you going to give it up all for people and things that have just come your way recently? I am not saying, give up your newly acquired interest. just make sure you balance both.

is that so much to ask for?I am not trying to blame you squarely for anything. I am merely requesting that you think about what has been going on this whole time.

For our poly life is ending. And nobody wants to lose friendships.

You are too dear for us to lose you.

the road before me is something i have been looking forward to since the start of my poly education. however, now that it is here, i quite do not know how to handle it. for the one who has been giving advice all around, i do need some badly myself.

i have had people wondering why the fuck i did not apply to any of the major universities. honestly, two reasons stopped me. my grades and my lack of finances. my grades are not top of the cohort.or even close.i am very much an average, a C average student. do i honestly think i would last even a week in NUS or NTU? Actually, i have the determination to. but my grades simply will not get me accepted. and i just decided not to apply. this may be foolish thinking or me letting go of an ample opportunity, but no regrets still.

but then again, i am still applying for SMU, SIM & MDIS. however, will i get in? is a big question mark. and if i did get in, will i have the financial means to cope? a bigger question mark. if i got denied on the quality of my grades, i fucking undertsand. i have no one to blame except myself for my grades. but if i got denied or did not accpet cos of lack of finances, i think i kick myself to death. i hope my lack of finances does not stop me from studying.

i have my plans clearly in my head. i know what i wish to pursue. i wish to not let go of opportunities coming my way this time around. but, at times, circumstances outside my control.can influence my decision this way or the other.

lord, i just pray. give me an opportunity to pursue my dreams.

all these university talk is making my head spin. i need to get my head focused on studying and do well. help me lord?

be with me.

Read this hilarious email [in my opinion] from a friend. Bold points r from the email. The rest my own add-ons.

§         Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.This is like so true. They always irritate the crap. They always preach something to their friends. But practice another. They never ever mean what they say. Not at least 65% of the time. They never study, and yet harp on the importance of education. They behave like exams can be taken over and over again. Given a choice, they will quit. Thinking that their general knowledge will get them far. And finally, they always never listen to a person who means well. Listening to the other fool who always gives. The wrong advice

§         Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.This is like so true. Literally and physically.

§         Men are like Weather. Nothing can be done to change them. Once again, this is true. When a guy says something, he bloody hell stands by it and means it though he is digging his own grave.

§         Men are like Blenders you need One, but you’re not quite sure why.They just happen to be this necessity in life. A perfect accessory for a successful career woman. The right form of consolation for a lonely woman. The correct medicine for a woman in agony. They just are needed. But half e time, women function perfectly without them.

§         Men are like Government Bonds. They take soooooooo long to mature.In this case, I fucking pity you if you have been attached to yr special other since you were 16. Hell, you have to wait at least for 3 years [NS] before you can be assured he has matured enough. On a primary level.

§         Men are like Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.The good ones have either married or are in long-term relationships. The rest you have? The cheating boyfriend or the one who flirts with Janice, jenny and molly and our gays. Go figure. 

[This entry was meant for laughing purposes. if you can’t find it funny and don laugh; just exit. don read and then harp on it.]