judgemental fools

i really dislike it[READ:DISLIKE] when people are judgemental. especially of one they have hardly ever talked to or known or even so much as breathed in the air surrounding them. i just hate these kinda of people who judge before getting to know one themselves.

i really seriously disliked the woman who tried to get her survey done with me today. first, at the drop of the hat, she had just become too judgemental and judged my fren.jumped at her for something that the poor girl did not actually do or say.

secondly, stop assuming. assumptions is the mother of all fuck ups. as one friend has mentioned it to me before. so stop assuming, just because money is important to you, does not mean it is important to me too. it is important, but not as of much importance as you would consider it to you.and no, i am saying this despite not having a job, not having the means to afford my university education and knowing that my lack of money will not get me all my ra-ra stuff. but money is still not important to me. and i would say it to your face, five years from now.money does not define me nor my lifestyle.and i do not see the need to earn sooo much oodles of money.

so, stop assuming. stop judging. and stop forcing your fucking ideas down on us. just because you like it, does not mean, we will like it too.

and i have been doing alot of thinking. honestly, as a student right now, i know where i stand. and i decided.i will only apply for something i know i have confidence of nailing atleast 75%. cos, despite all my soothsayings to myself and the encouragement, i fucking know my 2.4 will not get me a spot in nus or ntu. i mean, grades is not so important to me; but to these institutitions, they are. and i am not going to do any a disservice by applying when i know i will be rejected. call me pessimistic.but i believe i should just be in reality.

doggone-time

i realized i have not blogged in ages. i apologise for the very abrupt entry earlier. but just had to get it off my chest before i fainted from all of that “keeping-in-my-heart” thing.

i have way too many things on my chest. so time to let it all off. this entry could be possibly random or even very boring. but bear with it. for you readers do know, that at times, i have my stroke of geniusness and do blog about something very constructive.

i just very much detest it when a curb is put on freedom of speech. why is one not allowed to express themselves freely? and if one cannot do so on their own blog, this is too much isnt it. is there democracy then? if a lid is put on the voices of the people? we have some souls who go around, lambasting others in private or publicly among others. how come, such souls still get such freedom while us, the bloggers get lambasted? and then bloggers become afraid to spew anything. and then, suddenly, we become boring. blogs are not entertainment pieces. not everyone blogs for their five minutes of fame. some of us do it for our two cents worth. to let out our feelings.and if one is going to curb it, all i can say is “screw you”.

how much is ok? i feel, it is upto the individual. but i do feel, that everyone should be allowed to spew as much as they want. as long they are not hurting others. but of course, some people cannot limit how much is good enough or which much is crossing the limit. but to curb all, just to contain one or two? one may label it as fairness, curbing everyone’s freedom of speech. but when one needs opinions, one may never hear it then. for another is afraid to talk.having been stifled too much.

personally, freedom of speech should be allowed. for in a country where we are democratic, i feel too many things happen without the people being consulted.

secondly. on a totally random and different note.i got a B for BM!! yes!! love the lord.and my girlies.thank you for all of the work put in girls. especially by my lovely syidah.who did an awesome job with the report.

fantabulous.

thirdly.. wish me luck with all of the applications.

fourth. i should have done someting about ICS when i had an opportunity.

fifth.im outta here.

run-around.and back

know what is the problem when one advises another? surprisingly, they have all the answers for the other soul. however, when it comes to themselves, they just cannot seem to answer all of the questions plaguing them.

why is that so? i have thought about it. hard and deep. i have come to this conclusion. that prehaps, when it comes to another soul, maybe, we do not have expectations. we just answer what comes to our mind and soul. however, when it comes to ourselves, suddenly out of nowhere, the expectations come flying. we have this immense fear of what may go wrong.

the same is happening with me. i have alot of expectations put upon myself. and a large part of this is influenced by my environment. i wish, i could just let go and do whatever came to my mind. but heck ,if it was that easy, i think  i would have flown to aussie a long time back.

maybe, its time for me to stop putting so much pressure on myself. just go with the flow. i should just do my work as it is. go for what i feel is right. for all i know, i may just nail it. i may not be the wisest person be it emotionally, mentally or physically, but i do know, i have the desire to learn.

and hopefully, that will take me a long way.

success is sweeter to someone who has worked hard to earn it.

and i feel that i could do with some success again.

three years in poly has not been easy.and i never ever want to do it again.i just want to move on.hopefully to my degree.and the job i realize that has been waiting for me all this while.

i have been searching everyone for that dream job and i realized, its been there.right infront of me.staring point blank in my face. now, its upto me to decide if i want it.

let’s make a run for it.

i could make it.

could.

unfazed.tired.emotionless.name it.am it.

it has been a tiring period for me. very very very tiring period for me.

school has been an absolute drainer.absolute absolute drainer.

thinking about my projects and all the schoolwork on hand is draining me literally.

very very much.

tuition, is no better.it sucks just as equally.

and my life?

oh goshies.

the best friend could not hurt me more.like fucking seriously.

i am whatevernots.you call it.im feeling it.

leave me alone.

submission

am back after a long time.

everyone sure as hell should know why i have not updated in so long and so,i really do not want to bore anyone with that ramblings.

but on a totally different and much happier note, she is back home

hurray.much loves.finally.

)))))))

be it a relationship or marriage, should there be complete submission by one partner? or compromises by both partners or no one submits to the other and totally sticks to their guns?

was watching this particular show yesterday whereby one couple felt, that compromising is needed. while one of the judges felt that in today’s society, there is no need for one to submit and just stick to their guns. while another partner said that his idea of submission is making his partner give in.

hmm…

to have one person completely submit to the other person is completely out of tune in today’s society. there is no more of who is the superior gender; for those who still believe men is the superior gender, go screw yourself. [ just recollect, on whom made who eat the apple] so if you really have issues over who is the superior gender, then i am going to stick to this story too of adam and eve to prove my point.

but back to my point. like i said, there is no superior gender. no superior gender at all. so to ask the woman to submit to the man or the other way around, is simply tyranny in my opinion. and no individual deserves that as they are entitled to their own opinions too.

and then there are the smart alecks who go around making other submit to them. they do it in a roundabout and subtle manner that in the end, the person submitting to them does not realize it and just submits to all of their wishes and whatevernots. but like they say, as long as they are people who can be cheated, there will be people who will cheat.

and then there are those who compromise. who give in when it is needed. who stick to their opinions and give in when it is needed to. these type of people, are the best in my opininon. there is no perfectection in the world.but this is close to perfection. people who have their own opininons and ideas but when faced with a better one, they give in.

so, what exactly constitutes submission?

in my opininon, when one is being forced to change the way they think or act or behave, just because it is labelled wrong. instead of being given alternatives. and they follow it. that’s submission.

in my opinion atleast.

what constitutes submission for you?

ka ching. ka ching.

in today’s news, it was stated that the government is thinking of rising charges for ERP and having more ERP coverage so as to combat problem of congestion.

my only gripe? will it work?

in a country, where of late, prices of practically everything else has been going up, this is nothing new. Just another issue to be added to the latest list of things.

so, will it bite? will it encourage more consumers to take public transport instead? will it encourage them to find more novel ways of travelling? like car pooling for instance?

personally, i feel it will not work. it may be too early to tell. but in a country like singapore, where many people are affleunt nowadays and have the means to afford a car and are doing so, who will still want to take public transport when you have spent over a few thousands or hundred thousands on a car?

and, its not as if the public transport is any better. it is eqaully hard to get a place to even stand in comfortably especially during peak hours. so, what will make car drivers give up their car for the public transport?

savings from all that ERP charges they will avoid paying if they take public transport? well, what if public transport takes a fucking long time and they end up taking the cab? doesnt make a difference, does it?

and, why would one want to sweat it out, in the public transport despite having a car?

maybe, ka ching ka ching not the answer to every problem.

what we need, in my opinion, is a more active stand towards car pooling.

we need singaporeans to know, true enough, boarding a stranger’s car in the morning to go to work is relatively hard. but why not car pool with someone you know? that be great. and evceryone is saving money. moreover,lesser cars on the road. car pooling will help to cut down on petrol costs as everything is shared between driver and passengers, it lead to lesser air pollution[wonderful!!] and most importantly, lesser cars on the road.

the government is coming up with ways of introducing more trains and more leeway for buses which is good.but what they may also need to actively campaign for, lobby for more healthier ways of travelling.

i mean, come on, your office may be barely half an hour away from your home. why the bus for that? we can cycle right? we never know unless we try and its good exercise too.

rising ka ching may not be the answer to everything. it may be a temporary solution, but not one that will last a lifetime.

atleast, not this lifetime.

life’s a bitch at times.

You help someone, out of kindness.

Thinking that maybe, you should let what others say about that person influence you.

You decide to help the person out of kindness and see whether this person is really a nice soul.

The person lies to you, right in the face.

You do not care.

For, you do not think that person is worth it but then, the person starts to behave like you owe the very person a living.

It is a festival that only comes once a year.

Celebrated only for that one day.

I was really happy to see the order and the lack of queue.

But on hindsight, I didnt expect all that silence.

It’s very unfair, seeing how I see all the works for other festivals and our festival does not get that.

[Funken Mandarin, Crouching Indian, Hidden Malay]

When will it be equal?

I did not stay up till so late to complete something

Only to see not following it.

Maybe, my tone could have been wrong.

However,i only wanted to encourage. Motivate.

Not lecture.

And no, I just want to clear my modules. If I ended up doing well, do not make it look like its my fault.

[fcuk.]

Life can be a bitch at times.

r/s

know when is the most confusing point when it comes to deciding if you should be in a relationship? when you meet someone, he is wonderful and likes you alot, has taken the next step of asking you to be his girlfriend, has wooed you loads,has tried to do everything within his means to let you see that you guys are meant to be and even you seem to like him, but then. you think about it deeply and you realize that your heart is saying “yes!” but your head is saying “no!!!”

so,what do you do?

[will continue.]

funken mandarin

it has been so long since i last came up with a proper entry. i was looking through my entries and i missed the days when i came up with something that made my readers sit back and think. i realized, my entries of late has been about school, project work and lousy classmates.

and no, after all that whining, the school has not disappeared, the project work has not decreased and the lousy classmates have not disappeared. so yes, i have decided to quit whining and let’s, once again, gives my readers something to think about.

i have always tried to search for jobs actively to work during the holidays or even during the school term to earn extra cash. but out of the 10 i select, i do not get selected for 7. why? because, they expect us to be bilingual. no, being bilingual is not wrong. i encourage it in fact. however, being able to speak malay and english, or tamil and english is also considered bilingual. correct?

apparently not. why? because. atleast half the advertorials in classifieds expect one to be able to speak chinese and english. just as i know, there is a majority of chinese here, i also wonder why the hell, just as much importance is not given to the other two languages? even when the governement has already stated that companies taking out ads should not specify chinese to be the other language, i still see companies doing that. why is that so?

is it because of the main reason? that the chinese are the majority here? so, what happens to the multi cultural society and all that moral values? if this was china and you tell me, chinese is needed to survive, i may undestand. for there are hardly any other races in that country and the county has not exphasized on any multi cultural understanding as i know of. if you go to india and this same shit happens where everyone else speaks tamil, i can also understand. but in singapore? where our multi cultural society is our identity. why is being able to speak chinese and english considered bilingual?

give equal importance to all languages.if you cannot do that, then just give equal importance to english.our national language.

and honestly, if everyone had the time  to learn an extra langauge, we should.

too many things.too little time.

at a time, when the project work is in abundance and i have too little time, i suddenly find the urge to blog. having too many things going on in my head, i seek salvation in my blog,unable t0 express freely what is inside my head and heart to anyone else so easily.and though i know IMC is helluva important and realy need my attention, i also need this time equally to blog for awhile and let out my feelings.

Brand management ICA was a dunzo. a flat fail.that kinda made me feel if i was going to mess up. if i actually would get through this semester. this semester is really important.i have already finished 3/4 of the race and need only that remaining 1/4 to win.and brand kinda made me stop in my tracks.it was very disappointing.and yes,i did try and get over it.but it comes back to haunt me and i find myself putting in extra careful attention in my work nowadays.which is good.but at the same time,i get this feeling that i am incompetent. god.

then came along Effective ica.it was good.real good.it made me feel on top of the world.but the incompetent feeling has not quite gone away.and i have to prove myself.it will be a lesson to all those who look down on me,one way or another.please god,help me.

sometimes,when i think about projects and schoolwork,it makes me sick.and tired.and weary.ugh.and sometimes,i wonder how will i handle university if i cannot handle poly life? and talking about university, seeing how everyone is putting in their utmost effort to clinch a place in university, makes me frightened.as to whether will  i get a place?

feeling this incompetent and depressed makes me very discouraged.i really need to pull myself up.

jia you to myself?

another thing has been on my mind for the past few days.

the article on the Muslim dad who killed his daughters. it appeared a few days ago in the straits times. [the following is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings.]

i just wonder,why is he so stupid? does he not realize the value of a life? how come, religion plays a more important part in his life than his own daughters? or should i say, his pride? his pride that has been supposedly “destroyed” just because his daughters are dating non-muslim boys? its ironic considering that suddenly he feels the pain,pinch,hurt,betrayal,whatevernots when his daughters are dating non-muslim boys when he himself married a christian in the first place. you do not go to a american nation,marry a christian,bring up yr daughters in an american environment and then turn around and kill them just because they are dating non-muslim boys! that is plain stupid.for all anyone knows,just because those girls are dating non-muslim boys, does not mean they have forgotten their roots.and if he really feels that his daughters will stray,then for god’s sake, go back to the muslim nations and bring up yr daughters.

its not the first time,i am seeing this sort of things happen. and i am surprised,appalled,shocked that such things still happen and people still label it as “honor killings”.

god. why do this? isnt a life important? when did religion become more important than a life?

fools.

my laptop has been giving me alot of problems recently.baby,please just hang on kays?

and nigel.stop behaving like i owe you a living. just because i helped you a few times, does not mean i will help you everytime.go do your own stuff yourself.jackass